And we do it right, son. CES is no joke and 2012 is no different. Over 100,000 people flock to the desert in search of visions of technology’s future. Survival is a matter of maintaining a complex and tenuous balance of bodily levels with the following tools: caffeine, food and sleep (in order of importance).

Intel’s Eric Mantion demonstrating how to consume caffeine.

The JESS3 team is here in force this year helping to support Intel and trying to enjoy the sights and sounds in what little free time we can muster.

Here’s a baker’s dozen CES Pro-tips:

1. Walk. Don’t wait in line for 45 minutes to take a cab for a distance that only takes 30 minutes to walk.

2. Assault on batteries. Plug in whenever you get the chance.

3. Hydrate. You’re in a desert. Drink as much water as you can get down your gullet. Set a calendar event to slam a bottle if you need to.

4. Staying out really late and drinking a lot: pick one. Actually pick the former because…

5. The majority of interesting conversations happen after people leave the convention center. This year the Venetian was the hub of non-conference activity.

6. Real estate is valuable. If you’re having an off-site meeting send someone early to lock down a place to sit. Don’t waste the time of whoever you’re meeting (or your own for that matter) running around looking for a free table.

7. Do whatever you can to get VIP passes anywhere and everywhere you go. Even though some VIP areas are more marketing schlock than actual exclusivity, the slightly less crowded VIP areas at events are as close as you’re going to get to having a break from the onslaught of the masses. Take advantage of it.

8. Don’t go up to the bar. It’s a mess. Someone will come around to take your order… eventually.

9. Don’t trust the wifi. Signals can get crushed. Learn to tether your phone or bring a 3G or 4G of your own. And…

10. Learn to create a wifi network from your laptop. Your friends and colleagues will love you.

11. Schedule a massage or similar treat for yourself upon return. Pedicure, facial and sauna are all great options as well. Dudes – I’m talking to you too.

12. Take a few minutes every day to sit quietly in your hotel room and do nothing. It aids in terms of sanity.

13. When you go to see Tiësto and you run into Mark Cuban, for god’s sake hold the camera steady…

JESS3 VP Lauren Cook assures me that this limo was not in fact very exotic

Lauren with Anya from Project Runway

We had a great CES – hope to see you at the next one!

And don’t forget to check out past JESS3 CES amaze-fests!

Tags: brad cohen, CES, client, intel, vegas